So we out of most people have an urge tohold these   babies! We did not just get pregnant! No we prayed, cried, paid tons of money, were poked, and not to mention the hormone ride we endured to hear that heart beat. The day all engines are a go and we are told we are meeting our true loves comes ans just like that it is all take away again by those ugly words "baby has to go to NICU". Seriously'? another hurdle!? i have juiced, walked, taken to bedrest and still no rainbow? When u have crackheads that never had a prental check up w perfectly robust babies!? More tears, more hand holding with our spouses, another time we have to look at each other in the eyes and promise this to shall pass and God has a purpose! I still remember that first trip to meet my little love, wheeled in by a nurse, plugged in to a catheter and iv. I was still drugged from csection but not enough to feel emotionally numbed... There was our tresured little one in a pexiglass box connected to more machines and not even a clear visual of her face!! 🙈🙈😭😭😭😭 . Everytime, every vist seemed to get harder and still not holding her kept tearing me apart. All these years of hoping for her and i had to ask a nurse for permision to grab her hand when she was mine! living thru it was a terrible nightmare. Bothing let me sleep, ambian, pain killers, bothing seemed to work. All i could think of was keep pumping every two hours so she can have a great milk supply when ahe ia ready.