For those that were told they couldn't have children...

When you were first told, did you feel like it wasn't real? Like a nightmare? Like someone else's life story playing out..not yours? We were notified yesterday after my husband's attempted sperm retrieval surgery that they were unable to locate any. This is after his semen analysis came back as zero count..twice. I'm just devastated right now and in shock. I just don't understand why we have to go through this..it's been a rough couple of days, to say the least.