Depressed

I've always had issues with my body, in not a very large woman but am a little fluffy. I'm 5'2 and now I weighed myself this morning at 180 😭. I have a 2 month old baby girl and I never wanted to use the excuse I had a baby as why I'm heavier. My starting weight was 177. I understand that I'm only 3 lbs away but I was 175 when I left the hospital only 4 days after giving birth. I am breastfeeding which makes me more upset that's everyone says you lose weight when I'm gaining. I'm not really eating a lot I really don't have time. I grab easy things like cheese and crackers. Just feeling down about myself.