Broken-hearted πŸ’”πŸ’€

Simone
I'm sitting here in the Labor and Delivery room feeling like death itself. I never felt a pain so strong, so real. I keep hearing a baby cry, it's so painful because when it's my time... I know it'll never be my baby girl πŸ’” I just wish it was something I could have done differently, but what? I stopped smoking cold turkey in month 2, never had a sip of alcohol while pregnant, drunk plenty of water, even walked, stopped stressing. What could I have done differently. I just keep asking why me? What did I do wrong, what could I have done differently? I wish I could fix it. Everything was fine 05/31/16 around 3/4 pm, I felt her moving, I never thought those were going to be her last ones I ever feltπŸ’”. I went to work at 5pm-10pm, went home showered and went to sleep from being exhausted. I'm usually awakened by her around 6/7 am, but I didn't feel anything. I figured that she was still just sleeping in late. I went and made breakfast thinking that would get her started, STILL NOTHING 😞. Around 11:00am, I called my Obgyn nurse and left s message. I searched the web looking for ways to help my baby get moving for the day. I had multiple ice cold waters, had vanilla bean ice cream for the sugar and laid on my left side until 3ish, STILL NOTHINGπŸ’” nurse Stacey called me back around 3:30/3:40 and told me to go to the emergency room. I got there by 4:20 something. They couldn't find s heartbeat, not even any movement. They transferred me to Christiana hospital and still nothing πŸ˜” I'Daes broke down with tears, Toni as well. I was just so stunned. I couldn't fathom at that nomen exactly what was just said to me. That was my baby girl Simora Janae-Paris Lewis was no longer with usπŸ˜°πŸ˜©πŸ’”πŸ’€πŸ‘ΆπŸΎπŸ’”πŸ’”πŸ’”πŸ’”πŸ‘¨β€πŸ‘©β€πŸ‘§πŸ’”. I've been induced for labor and now I have to push my lifeless babygirl out vaginallyπŸ˜“πŸ’” I won't hear no crying, I won't be all smiles, it's going to be just the worst thing ever to happen to meπŸ’”πŸ’”πŸ’”