Breastfeeding is hard. That’s why women quit.

Here’s a story with a bunch of tips to breastfeeding success. It also talks about how 74 percent of U.S. women now breastfeed their babies, which is a historic high, but that only 30 percent breastfeed exclusively after 3 months.

I’ve been wanting to do this post for a long, long time. Maybe if those who teach breastfeeding and share information with others would just come out and say to expect it to be difficult, more women would stick with it because they’d know what they were getting into. Maybe if more women didn’t fear being judged when they talked about the difficulty with others who have had success (La Leche League, etc.), more women would keep going beyond three months.

Of all the things that stressed me about having a baby (or in my case, two babies), breastfeeding was the most difficult, the most emotional, the most taxing, the most complicated.

It seems like such a simple and natural thing, but it is not. I cried when they wouldn’t latch. I was sore. I felt like a failure when I struggled with it, and felt guilty when I thought of giving it up. When I was with the lactation consultant (I even did a follow-up visit) things went smoothly. When it was just me and the babies at home, it was a nightmare. All three of us would end up frustrated and crying.

pumping exclusively and feeding them the milk in bottles was easier and more comfortable for me, but the “experts” in my life kept telling me that it would be easier if I would direct nurse the twins instead. So I felt guilty about not doing it the “right” way, even though I was pretty much keeping up with the demands for milk, even though I was less-stressed and more comfortable with the pumping arrangement.

Eventually, after breaking down crying in my pediatrician’s office, I reached a decision: I either had to give up nursing entirely or accept that I’d found the way that worked for me (exclusive pumping) and that was good enough. I decided to keep going — my way. Now here I am, 6 months later, still going and planning to continue until I reach the 1-year mark. My reasons are mostly budgetary. Why buy the milk/formula when you can get it for free? And when you’re dealing with twins that’s a lot of formula. Right now, I just buy one can a week as a supplement because I fall a little short on my supply since the twins are older and drinking so much. And even though finances are probably the biggest reason I keep going, I do also appreciate the health benefits breastmilk can provide, and I’m proud that I can provide it to them.