Distant father

My boyfriend has two kids with another woman and we just had our first together. She's 12 weeks and she's the centre of my universe now. I find that being a mother comes very naturally to me and I am happy to do take care of her almost all the time. I obviously get tired sometimes and I wish my boyfriend would help out with her more. I've asked him multiple times to be more hands on but he just isn't... And I'm realizing that it's not because I need help so much that I wish he were more involved but that doesn't really just wish he wanted to be with her more than he does. I want him to want to care for her, to want to be with her, to be invested in the small moments that make up her life, even if they seem boring right now. 
But I can't make him be this way... I'm afraid that I picked an absent father for her and I feel like I cheated her. He does a lot around the house to help- but rarely are they hands on with the baby. He will cook and clean but he really needs his alone time or his time outside the house. His other two kids are here one weekend on two and I get upset when he tries to go out and leave them with me. Like, why did you want children then? Just to say you have them? I feel so cheated