I am an 8 yr Army veteran with major over seas deployments to Iraq 2003-2004. I suffer greatly with PTSD from being raped by another soldier while deployed in 2003 in which resulted in a pregnancy I terminated (completely regret it now the older I've gotten). Let me just say this entire 8 years I was enlisted I was married to my husband now of 15 years and separated due to him being in as well and deployed to another part of the country so I went through all of this alone because I was so worried about his well being I wouldn't tell him what happened while he was at war also. Fast forward to 2009 and our oldest daughter was 1 1/2 we both decided to make our marriage work we needed counseling together because my demons and his were butting heads. I finally opened up to tell him what happened and the extent of everything and we worked through it. I am blessed to have such a loving husband and father to our children who are 8, 5 and I'm currently 22 weeks with #3. This pregnancy has been the worst on me emotionally because I just can't seem to cope with my demons. I get so mad and angry at my girls over the littlest things (I would never harm them so don't jump to that conclusion please) and I just can't stand myself and how I feel. During my pregnancies I have always stopped taking my meds because I refuse to possibly put my unborn children in harms ways but I honestly feel like I need them with this pregnancy because I'm having severe issues with anger, anxiety and just life all around. VA can't see me until Sept 7th a month before my due date to talk about meds go figure so typical of the VA and my PCP won't even talk with me about them because she feels my problems are bigger then she can handle and my OB well he just doesn't believe in them. I'm sorry this is so long buy I really just needed a place to vent and possibly some insight on other coping measures.