I can't be touched!!

Background history I was ganged rape wen I was 15 now fast forward  to now at 18 pregnant with my first baby I had my first Pap smear and my doc is a male well I thought I got over my rape but wen he did my pap it freaked me out I couldn't even open my legs all the way And now wen my boyfriend try's to touch me I flip shit on him it now freaks me out wen my boyfriend touches me like I need to take a shower and it fuckin sucks cuz I used to love it but I'm wondering wat can I do to get my sex life back!! I want to actually want sex instead of me just doing it cuz I feel bad for my boyfriend cuz oddly he doesn't masterbate