I need advice/support, fiancé cheated once again.
First of all, please don't be too harsh on me, I know you all have the right to judge because I'm being weak and maybe naive but cut me some slack please... I feel so vulnerable right now.
I found out today, that for the fourth time my husband-to-be cheated on me again, with multiple women. I'm typing this while I'm lying in bed next to him sleeping, I just went through his phone and saw all of the pathetic raunchy texts he sent with a bunch of easy sluts. Telling them how good the sex was and how he was 'craving her *****'. He also always tells these girls that either we(him and me) have a 'deal' or that we have a 'really good relationship' and that I mean the world to him and it's just sex that he wants from them.
The reason why this is the fourth time and why I kept on giving him chances is because I simply love him to death and I want us to have a future with our daughter. We talked about this so much and we both agreed that he's struggling with some kind of sex addiction. He's been cheating on me practically our entire 3 year relationship. But every time I found out, he was so so sorry and crying(he usually NEVER cries) and promised me he'd never do it again. We talked and talked and talked and I decided to give him another chance.
I'm 5 months pregnant and scared to death. Scared of what the future would bring if we broke up. I just feel like he loves me so damn much and he just can't help it, there's this little part inside of me that always wants to forgive him because he just can't help it. I feel sorry for him. But enough is enough, i am so crushed but I can't even cry anymore. I don't have any tears left.
I just don't know what to do I love him so so much I don't want to lose this amazing relationship we have because apart of the cheating, we're like best friends. He's literally my WORLD. I still want to do so many things with him with our daughter and our family. Thinking about having to let this go is absolutely CRUSHING me. I don't want to be a single mother I'm 22 years old, I feel like I will never find a man again ever if we break up because I already have a child.
I'm also scared because I'm a very unstable person and I've suffered from depression before and even attempted s**cide twice. Thank god I'm not in this place anymore but I'm very vulnerable and afraid this will happen when I realize I lost EVERYTHING I was planning and hoping my life would be.
Sorry for the long post. I hope some women who went through the same thing can give me some advice.. I just need to talk to someone because I don't want to tell my family or friends right now. I'm not ready and I haven't made a decision yet.
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