Venting

I'm so frustrated, I'm a FTM and a single mom at that, I'm 2weeks and 1 day postpartum, and I feel completely alone, by baby came early and as a result I had no baby shower, I had a lot of stuff however due to me planning ahead, however I feel like I could have had more with such a huge shower being planned, the first week as a mom I was completely overwhelmed, I cried non stop and had no clue why, I talked with my mom and determined that I had baby blues ( I hadn't taken my prenatal pills for the entire week) Once I got that back in my system (stayed with my mom for a few days) My sister ( who had spent no time with me the last few months of my pregnancy) asked if I could watch her two kids (5 and 8) and I said yea at first during the second week as a mom I felt like I was being used as a babysitter and on Friday let both mom and sister know that I could no longer keep the kids. I spoke with my mom about things and she advised that I come out to her place however when out there I felt completely ignored and more along, so now I'm back home,alone (child's father has not seen the baby) and not knowing if this was worth it, please don't judge I just needed to vent