So Tired and Drained

These past couple days have been very very rough on me. Long story short, I was badly scammed through Craigslist (Never ever use Craigslist people, I am so dead serious. Even the police officer I dealt with yesterday said to never use it to sell OR buy) and it left us at a withdrawl of almost $2000 in our bank. It has been the worst rollercoaster. Until today, I was at a level 9.99 anxiety, crying nonstop and wondering how I could be so stupid. I ruined everything that we have been working for. Saving to get the car fixed.. gone. Saving up for the baby.. gone.. saving up for our rent.. gone.. I have never felt so lost and I cant even look at my man right now it hurts too much to kow how badly I screwed him over.. and he isnt even mad at me, saying we're in this together and I didnt drag him into anything and we'll be okay, which makes me feel worse.

So I'm really really hoping things turn aroud and I'm really hoping that this problem just.. fades away with time.

Everyone keeps telling me to relax and breathe and keep my emotions in check for the sake of my baby but.. you have no idea how hard that is. The entire time we were talking to the police (well.. my man did the talking) I was sitting there trying not to crack like an egg, shaking, barely breathing because I knew I'd lose it.. I almost passed out

To our son.. I'm sorry for everuthing I have put you through since finding out you were growing inside me. Harming you isnt even on my list of things I want to do and I love you already so much. We have hiked 8 very painful miles together, we have gotten in a car accident together, and now I have hurt you by putting you through all these emotions and I am so sorry. I hope you're okay in there and staying strong for me because I am trying so hard to stay strong for you. Your daddy and I love you and takig care of you is our top priority. Money doesnt matter more than love and family. It never has and never will. We'll all be okay with time. 3 and a half more months and holding you will be the rainbow after this storm.