Heart still healing

I have my good days and my bad days since my miscarriage and D&C.  My boobs are back down to their pre-Preg size, the bloat is gone.  My body doesn't feeling like there was ever a pregnancy.  Being that this was my second miscarriage the doctor wants to do some tests in a few months when we start trying again.  I can't even think about trying again.  Some days it terrifies me to think about it.  Today is a rough day.  I feel like my body let me down.  I feel like I'm left a little hallow.  I have found my patience is very thin and I feel ready for a fight. I feel angry and just plan done.  I'm always the smiling girl, the upbeat one.  That annoying morning person at the office.  Now I just wish I could scream at them all.  Yell Fuck You at the top of my lungs.  Today is a rough day.