I think the hardest part of a breakup is having to see the person who once loved you , love somebody else . Like I don't understand how he can just move on that fast . How can people jump from relationship to relationship like it's nothing ? It's like no matter what I do I keep getting hurt and it's very heartbreaking . I'm tired of catching feelings and having to let them go . They tell me that I have trust issues . He used what I told him against me and made me feel like I was the cause of everything that went wrong , and I believed him . I bet he doesn't even think of me at least once a day . I hate him and I hate myself , because I keep letting people hurt me and get away with it . Family , friends , SO , they all hurt me .I'm hurting so much on the inside. I have anxiety and I'm really depressed . I struggle with low self esteem and insecurities. The only way that I feel good about myself is when I helping other people , people who don't even deserve my kindness .For a split second when I wake up Im okay, but then everything starts to rush back to me. My family is so wrapped up in themselves that they don't see that I'm crying out for help .I stay alone in my room and just slowly die on the inside . My mom thinks being a Christian and trusting in God will solve everything . Why do bad things happen to good people ? Who came up with the rules of life and how it works ?I was bully and I was raped . I feel alone and I don't know what to do and I'm really afraid .