Feeling like a horrible mother !!

Found out my baby's gender this week and it's a boy. My rainbow baby was a girl so I really wanted a girl. Not to replace her but to replace the void of loosing a baby girl (not sure if you understand what I mean). Not too happy about my pregnancy anymore after finding out it's a boy. I don't feel as connected as before. I feel horrible for feeling this way especially about my own child 😔😔 I'm honestly on the road to depression. I try to look at pictures of baby boys hoping it'll help but it's not. And I always said that I don't want my kids too far apart but the way things are going between my boyfriend and I it doesn't seem like it'll last. So I definitely won't ever get my baby girl.😔 I'm honestly trying to be happy and hoping all of this is a phase.