What was your labour and birth like?

Ladies, I am looking for long and detailed descriptions! I know labour and birth differs for everyone but I'm interested in how it felt for you! I want the play by play, hour by hour. I want to know if it felt like cramps, or getting kicked in the lady bits, or like someone was pulling you apart, was it pressure? Was the pain constant or was it more like waves?

I want to skip all the social niceties you normally get when someone tells you how their birth went. Let me know the nitty gritty, the story you really want to tell when someone said "labour isn't thaaaat baaaad".

Also please indicate the type of birth you had. Drug free or not, home, birthing center, or hospital, midwife or doctor.

Thanks!!