how long do you let baby cry?

Question

I'm a first time mom and my baby is 4.5 weeks old (he was born 4 weeks early though) so developmentally he is a newborn. I am exclusively breastfeeding; baby eats every 2 hours. In the overnight hours, I'll feed, burp and change his diaper (same as each day feeding). At night, between feedings he cries. Non stop. He only sleeps if we hold him. It's exhausting. My husband said to let him cry because we know his needs are met. I can't hold him all night, I need sleep too. How long do I let him cry? Help!

Answer

Do not let him cry. A quick google tells you that CIO is for ages 6 months plus. Your baby needs you! It won't make any sense, yes his needs are met but he just wants you. You're building trust. You cannot spoil a brand new baby. Please, please just hold him. Cosleep, read the rules and try it, it's safe when you follow simple rules. Then you'll both sleep. Or, pump and have your hubs try a bottle so you can rotate. You will survive.

Also: swaddle,  swing,  white noise, stroller walks, wear him in a carrier, nurse like crazy, something will eventually help. I promise it gets better.

Just please don't let him cry, not at 4 weeks, unless it's in someone's arms. Just not all alone :(

Lastly google 4th trimester. It explains a lot.

Answer

Unfortunately this is the witching period. Your baby just needs your constant support so young. Your baby is used to being inside you so naturally wants to be as close to you as possible, you just have to tough it out but safely. Have hubby take turns at night, get support from family or friends so you can get a nap or two, but I would not suggest letting a four week old cry it out, especially one born prematurely.

Answer

Do not let a 4.5 week old cry it out!! Omg that is way too young. Think about it from your baby's perspective. He just spent 40 weeks in his mom safe and warm and then suddenly he's out in a strange world and crying for the only person he needs and she ignores it. When a baby stops crying, it's because they've exhausted themselves and gave up. They learn not to rely on mommy because she doesn't come when he cries so they don't cry anymore. Please do your research. CIO is terrible and traumatic for an infant. You just have to tough it out for a while until your baby sleeps better. That's part of being a mother.

Answer

I agree with the rest of the comments that he is way too young to be left to cry (I actually don't believe in leaving a baby to cry at any age, but especially not as newborns). Is it possible that he is needing fed more often? Or that another issue is going on, such as acid reflux? Do you have a paediatrician you can ask? My daughter was also preterm and fairly high needs, and some nights I had to hold her all night, but she eventually improved.

Answer

Don't do the cry it out stuff when baby is so little. Fussing is one thing. But that young you can't spoil a baby. Wait until 3 months to cry it out

Answer

Babies needs have to be met emotionally when they are that small. They are not able to self soothe until they are around 6 months. Have you tried swaddling?

Answer

Thank you everyone for your kind words and suggestions. It makes me feel better knowing others have been through it. I'm glad I asked. Being a first time mom is hard!! Do you think he knows when it's night time because it's darker and when I feed I keep the lights low? I ask because during the day it's bright and I have the TV on (and after feedings he is good and just hangs out or sleeps). At night, when it's dark and quiet - is when he cries after feedings. Do I dare keep the lights on at night? Try and make him think it's day time? I didn't think being so little they really know the difference though?

Answer

Where are you putting him to sleep? My 5 week old (born at 41.3 weeks) won't sleep in his crib. We felt horrible the first 3 nights home because all he did was cry!! We finally caved and put him in a swing at night and now I can sleep 3-5 hours at night during feedings. I excusivly pump & formula feed so I pump every 2-3hrs.

Answer

Have you looked into the possibility that your baby may be colic? My daughter suffered from colic and it is not fun!!! Also you can not spoil to much! One thing that helped me a lot was being told that the first 3 months of baby's life is the "4th trimester" they need and depend on you! Imagine being in a perfect environment being "held" 24/7 to being just left alone and set down. You will make it through momma! It is very stressful and overwhelming ask for help if you need it! The best purchase I ever made was a boba wrap (other brands are moby wrap) get yourself one! It holds the baby close to you kinda like a kangaroo pouch. ;) they feel safe and warm and you can be hands free! Also consider co-sleeping to help you get some rest! Good luck momma you will make it! It gets easier.

Answer

If he's developmentally a newborn he's too little for cry it out. I am honestly no good at solving sleep problems but I've heard good things about the no cry sleep solution

how long do you let baby cry?

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