I'm i so undesirable??!!

So I'm sitting here today with a knot in my throat trying to hold it in and I feel devastated and little by little losing hope that love really does exist maybe just not for me. so here's a little bit about me I have always been a romantic and when I was 18 I married my high-school sweetheart I thought that my marriage was perfect and I love this man with all my heart and at the age of 22 after being together for 8 years he cheats on me because we can't have children for some reason and he was bored maybe because I was young I was clueless I never noticed we ended up getting divorced and about half a year later I met a man that was the sweetest and it was still heartbroken and I guess I needed a hole to be filled moved in with him surprisingly I got pregnant but this relationship was hell on Earth because he was very abusive and I stayed and had a second child with him finally got the nerve to leave and stupid me instead of taking some time for myself and my children fell 4 family friend of many years but since day one like he says he's never lied to me he told me he had never been attracted to chubby girls and that he couldn't believe he was with someone that has children. that was a red flag but I never listened to some point I think I fell for him and it's been a year now and I am 26 weeks pregnant he ask me to marry him moved in together he is the sweetest with me and my children treat them like their own but when I say I love you to him he just said okay .want to get married before the baby is born does all the right things it breaks my heart because he tells me you know I care for you so much but I can't lie to you I don't love you and you know that. I've been from relationship to relationship and I feel like I am so done and my heart can no longer take it. I give so much love to this man and I feel so much love from him but when I feel happy. He just reminds me the He doesn't love me. He also tells me about how his friends tease him saying that they can't believe he fell that low ask to be with a woman that has children ,now I know this is going to sound shallow but he wasn't my type he is a shorty shorter than me he is 5 1 and chubby and that was never my type unlike tall and handsome,dumb. But I'm not once did I ever make him feel bad about it. And yet he always tells me when are we getting married why haven't you planned it. so I ask myself.... Am I crazy for staying in this relationship am I going to regret it later I love the man but I don't want to marry someone that doesn't love me I feel like that's just not fair for me. I'm so sorry my post is so long but I seriously have no one to talk to if I can get a few words of wisdom I would greatly appreciate it xoxo