Face down

It started as any other day
Waking up full of self hate and
Wondering if things would ever be ok
And
Hoping it would all be over soon
And wishing
That he could just love you for
You...
Sitting alone
Thinking too much
Your phone buzzes
And it's him
Berating and shaming and 
Marking up your heart
And making you wish
You didn't have a heart with room left to mark. 
He was a hurricane 
Sucking up all the sweetness you had
Running your well dry and
Taking even the dirt left at the bottom
Claiming it as his. 
Until you wake up and
Your wish came true 
Nothing is left. 
Face down on a couch
So high you don't know who your 
Mother is
And you are ready to go
Ready to get up and fight again
But you can't because he has to finish first
He holds you back, holds you down
And even after he finishes
It's never over
Because you wake up and
You're still facedown on the couch
Suffocating and secretly wishing
It would end
So you could finally rest
And not worry about
Being face down and empty anymore. 

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