Done with "family"
Just need to vent because I'm just frustrated with my husband's family. I'm currently 37 weeks pregnant and just had our baby shower this last weekend. His parents have been involved since the beginning and will be throughout. It's his aunt and grandmother that are getting on my nerves. First, since he was younger he has always been treated as a second class citizen compared to his cousin and they've treated his dad even worse. Obviously his mom doesn't like it at all but she still communicates with them and tries to see her mother because it's her family and I can understand that. And it's difficult for me because his cousin is one of my best friends and I've known his aunt and grandmother way before I even knew him. Well, I've noticed slowly since being with my husband that they treat him this way; making him graduating seem less important or getting a job in his field not a big deal, etc. The first thing that pissed me off is when we got engaged and he personally went over to his grandmothers to tell her and she never even acknowledged it and just went on talking about his cousin's "accomplishments". (I hate feeling this way since she's my friend but she went to college for 5 years to work a job that a high schooler can get and is perfectly content and does not push herself to do anything). And both his grandmother and aunt complained during our wedding about everything.
So because that happened we decided not to tell them personally about us having a baby, because why bother when it wasn't even acknowledged that we were engaged? So of course when they found out his aunt messaged me through Facebook telling me how impersonal that was and that her mother is going to be a great grandmother and should be told in person and telling me the right thing to do is go over and tell her. Uh, no. First off she's not my mother, don't be telling me what I should and shouldn't be doing. Second, she didn't even acknowledge us getting married and said nothing to her grandson, why would we go over with news this big? So that we can be ignored? No way. Of course I didn't respond to the message because I don't do drama. His grandmother has still yet to even say anything to us about having a baby or even acknowledge it even though we've been to a bunch of family events.
Did I fail to mention that his cousin is getting married this year as well? 5 days before our due date? And I literally had to tell them all like 10 times that me going is most likely not happening because I'll be 40 weeks pregnant by then and it's an hour and a half away from our home. My friend and her fiancé are fine with it but her mother and grandmother obviously don't get it.
Then the thing that really pissed me off happened. Baby shower. I sent out invites a month in advance. I've been talking about the date and stuff though way before because his cousin had all these events planned for the wedding so I was trying to fit in a good date in between everything. 3 days after the RSVP deadline (which was a week prior, she responded to me 5 days before the shower) she calls me (I don't answer because I'm WORKING) telling me they have "prior arrangements" that day and will be late (they're always late anyway so that didn't bother me) and then mentioned that his grandmother never got an invite and that I need to call her back so we can "discuss things". Obviously I didn't call her back after work because I was exhausted but I talked to my mother in law who was receiving a slew of nasty texts from her all day about me not answering the phone and that their mother didn't get an invite and many nasty things that I will not post. So I looked in my address book and realized that I wrote the wrong address. Not on purpose. She let her mother know this and that she's invited. Shouldn't have been a big deal.
So day of his cousin shows up on time (because she's always been a good friend to me and her and her fiancé are involved) and tells me her mother is coming in like a half hour or so. 3 hours later she shows up, says nothing to my husband, and barely 5 words to me. Sat in a chair with a sour puss face on and speaks to like nobody but her daughter there. Leaves after about 45 minutes with a short "bye". Grandmother couldn't have been bothered to show. Clearly all their talk is just talk; she could care less that her first great grandchild will be here in less than a month.
I've told everyone in my family and his parents that when I go into labor that I have a select few people that will know and who can visit and the big announcement to everyone can happen after I get home. None of them are going to come into the hospital or come to my house after. My son will have more than enough support from my family and his parents; we don't need them. As far as I'm concerned I'm done with them and they're not getting a message or anything; as I've said I don't do drama, I just cut it out. No warning, they will just never hear from me again and they don't deserve to see my son. I will not expose my son to that kind of negativity; he will learn that family does not treat each other like that.
Sorry for the long post, I just had to get it out.
Comment
Add Comment
Let’s Glow
Glow is here for you on your path to pregnancy
Glow helps you navigate your fertility journey with smart tools, personalized insights, and guidance from medical experts who understand what matters most.
25+ million
Users
4.8 stars
200k+ app ratings
20+
Medical advisors
