How do I begin to love myself again?!

Question

Help!! I have an extremely low self-esteem. And I need to figure out how to boost it. I absolutely HATE how I look. I'm only 5' and 118lbs. But I feel as if I look gross. I've tried reading into books to help, therapy, and talking to a couple very close to me. I've tried changing how I look, but unfortunately, some surgery and a lot of money would make me feel 110% better about it. Is there anything anyone else has tried that has made them feel more comfortable? I don't like my stomach, boobs, butt, thighs, or just my face in general. I'm posting about this now because my boyfriend just made it so much worse tonight. I was in the shower and he just burst in and I told him not to open the curtain(I'm on my period and I hate when he does that knowing I am) and he says, "Good. Because I don't ever want to see you naked anyways." Wtf?! I'm pretty sure that was highly uncalled for. But now I just REALLY hate my self-image. Which I didn't think was possible. Anyone know of any websites I can turn to that might teach me to learn to love myself again?😭💔

Answer

Girl I just peeped at your profile picture and I think you're so beautiful (I'm not Gay or anything) but you really are. You have gorgeous eyes and I can tell you have a nice thin body. Try telling yourself that while looking in the mirror. You have absolutely nothing to worry about. Give yourself compliments. I cannot believe that you think you have low self esteem, that's just crazy to me. And I'm pretty sure your SO was joking around with you. If he didn't like the way you look I'm sure he wouldn't be with you. Please cheer up. I'm not just saying you're beautiful to make you feel better.....you really are!

Answer

I would advise to stay off of websites, and social media, and anything that causes you to compare yourself to others. You are beautifully and wonderfully made in the image of God by God. Don't believe any of the lies of society that tells us we have to look a certain way as a woman. And tell your bf to go kick rocks! I'm sure he's no Zach Efron himself! Tuh!

Answer

I've dealt with anorexia and I still deal with anxiety from a lot of issues I had in my youth. First thing you need to do is drop that guy! You can try to do everything right but you won't be able to love yourself until you're away from people who are putting you down! I know because I lived through it with my ex. Another thing that has always helped me, even if just to kick start me loving myself, is changing my hair or getting some new clothes! When I really started loving myself I changed my hair drastically and it made me feel amazing, like I had shed my old self and was this new loving person. Idk if it's the best way to do things and idk if it's for everyone but it works for me. Now when I change my hair I don't do it to shed my old self but I do feel that same pure happiness of changing something fun! Other than that I suggest keeping a journal and writing down things you like about yourself. Anything. Try to come up with one thing a day and go from there. That way if you think of one nice thing about yourself a day for even a second you won't be able to forget it and let it disappear into your negative thoughts! It's always helped me! Good luck, love!!!!

Answer

I've dealt with anerxica, anxiety, depression all because of my self esteem. And the only thing that helped was my boyfriend. He would hold me every night and tell me how beautiful I was and that he wouldn't want me any other way. I also dealt with bipolar and anger issues. I also have very strict eating rules, like I don't eat infront of people idk, I only go out to eat at slow hours so no one is in the resturant and MORE. And on my bad days he'd be extra sweet and take the mirrors down. We've been together almost 3 years and I was doing so good and I can slowly feel myself starting to hate my body again and idk what to this time. I wish your SO was more supportive! And I would have left him!

Answer

I've found that (with the help of pinterest and my mom) it's worth it to take the time in stores to shop for outfits instead of pieces, and figured out what was flattering for my body. It's hard at first, I know I was uncomfortable wearing clothes that showed my figure, but once I found an outfit that was made for my body type (you know, the kind of outfit that *almost* only one body type looks amazing in) and i wore it. A lot. Until I owned it and felt good in it.

Finally is support. There is nothing more important than having someone you can go to and say look I actually feel ugly and have them not just give you compliments but also help, maybe give suggestions of what would be more flattering or just plain being honest and saying you know what you are gorgeous and it makes me sad that you don't see it because if you saw yourself the way I do, you would feel like a million bucks. And if you don't have someone like that, let me know. Because everyone needs someone like that, and I have had that person and I will be that person if you want me to be.

I hope I have helped even just a little, because you are beautiful even though you don't see it.

Answer

I am so sorry that you feel this way about yourself. I don't think anyone should go through feeling so badly about themselves that they consider surgery. I am on my own journey to loving myself completely and these are some things that be made a huge difference for me:
In grade 11 I had just gotten out of an abusive relationship and had lost my self worth. I challenged myself to do myself up every day for school. It was hard at first, wearing clothes that fit properly and taking that extra time when I didn't feel I was worth it. But within a month or two, I changed. I started to love getting ready, I did my hair and makeup in ways that were flattering, and wore clothes that flattered my figure. It took time to find out what style made me feel good, but I just kept trying and when I did, it made me feel better and better each day.

Tbc...

How do I begin to love myself again?!

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