I want to hate him but my heart doesn't want me to

How mayny of you have been hurt to such a point where your heart litterally feel like its being ripped out of your chest.. how many of you made the mistake of letting a guy back in your life that just broke you in to a million pieces over again?

I made that mistake and I want to hate him but my heart just doesn't want to, so instead I hate myself more.

Why do we have an emotional attachment to a guy and they just don't give a crap?

Sorry about the rant but this is literally the only place right now where I can share my emotions.