How do you introduce BDSM to your SO without freaking them out?

Question

I've had a lot of problems doing this with people. Maybe I'm just approaching it the wrong way or maybe I'm just too freaky. 😂

Answer

If he can't understand your kinks, there are plenty of other (really hot) guys out there who are kinky too.  I have it on my Tinder profile that I am a shibari artist and a rope bunny.  If they don't read my profile, it's obvious, if they do, they normally ask.  If they don't bring up what shibari is within the first few dozen messages, I bring it up and ask them if they have any kinks.  If they don't like it or aren't into it, the conversation gets awkward and I move on. Most times, they're curious and I end up explaining a lot of stuff to them. Sometimes they wanna try but I have a rule about no sex unless we're serious (fwb or romantic) and that makes them leave. You should never do anything with someone who's not willing to put in the effort to do their own research or doesn't wanna learn all the terms and definitions. That's a red flag and you could get physically or emotionally hurt.

Personally, I have found that I cannot be with someone vanilla. I love my kinks. I get off on some weird sh*t. If someone can't respect me enough to not only understand and accept my kinks but be comfortable enough to join in on the fun, I can't waste my time. Think about what you want. If you want kink, think about how much and what kind and then think about if it is worth it to give up your relationship or to deprive yourself of something you want or possibly need to be satisfied in a relationship.

Answer

Honestly it came up with me and my boyfriend through jokes to kinda see how the other really feels about it. Like if a character on TV makes a comment that sounds kinky we used to joke and be like "oh kinky" and laugh. But eventually that just led to asking how we felt about it ^_^

Answer

Have him take the bdsm test lol that'll get the convo started

Answer

When my first boyfriend asked me out we were walking to my bus. I knew it was coming and I was kinda freaking out, vanilla isn't my thing. He popped the question and instead of saying yes or no I said MAN IM SO FUCKING KINKY I CANT HELP IT. He was cool with it and we lasted until I moved out of state

Answer

Maybe try watching Secretary together and see what he thinks? I had issues too, until I met my husband, but he and I met through the BDSM community.

Answer

I always make a point of bringing people to fetish nights at local clubs before getting involved. Test the waters so to speak. ✌️

How do you introduce BDSM to your SO without freaking them out?

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