Virginity in Question?

I see a lot of virginity posts here. And I have a few questions... I first had sex when I was 17 with someone I really didn't even love. I just wanted to know what it was like.. A few months later I was bullied into have frequent sex with a "friend" of mine. I can't say I didn't like it but I didn't love him either and couldn't fully enjoy it because I felt disgusted as soon as it was done. Those were my only two partners. And many people say that breaking your hymen doesn't mean you've lost your virginity because it's just a moral or social construct...

So, my question is.. Is it up to the woman when she loses it, when she can say "I am no longer a virgin.?

I ask because, I finally found the man I love and wish to marry. I don't want him just for pleasure or to just tug around on a leash as a game. I cannot say I've been this enamored by any other human being in my life. He's been my very best friend for almost two years and he makes me happier than I could ever ask to be. He lives 6 hours away from me, so we've never been able to do anything besides having kissed once...

But say we decide that we want to take the next step and have sex. Would it be fair for me to say that because I love him more than any human on earth, that he is the one to take my virginity?