DH and I have been ttc for 2.5 years now. I'm blessed with 2 beautiful kiddos from a previous marriage, but sadly, hubby and I have not been able to have a child together. He has a rare condition which only affects his sperm, & is the reason we've not been able to have a baby... only repeated chemical losses. We just recently had another confirmed loss, & we've both been feeling pretty down about it still. Our chances of ever having a baby naturally together are extremely low, and either
IVF with PGD or using a sperm donor would be our best & pretty much ONLY options. We've discussed it at length, and my husband has absolutely refused the idea of using a donor, and the price for the type of IVF we would need is exorbitant.... We've reached a fertility "dead-end". So anyway, tonight I was in the kitchen making dinner when my youngest (who's 5) approached me. Turns out his kindergarten teacher is preggo, and he wanted to know ALL about how babies are made. Trying to keep things "G-rated" & in a way he could understand, I explained a little bit of the "birds and the bees" to him. I told him that the mommy and daddy make the baby together, but he got confused and asked, "But then why is the baby only in the mommy's tummy?". So I said, "Well... the daddy gives the mommy baby juice (I didn't know how else to word it!), so that the mommy can grow the baby. Then he asked, "Can YOU get some baby juice so you can grow a baby? I want you to have lots and lots more babies!". I just laughed and told him I was too old (I'm 34), and that I was just happy to have HIM as my baby. He looked at me with those sweet brown eyes of his and said, "You're not too old mommy!", and with that, excitedly hurried out of the room. So I'm standing in the kitchen just chuckling to myself, when I hear him run upstairs to where my husband is. Then I hear him say, "Can you give mommy some baby juice so that she can have a baby?". I hear my hubby laugh and say, "Oh, you think mommy should have another baby?", to which my son replies, "Yes! Lots and lots of babies, so can you do that? Please oh please oh please?!!!". Then my husband said the ONE thing I've always wanted him to say, or at LEAST consider, seeing as I've advocated multiple times (with no luck) that sperm donation would be our best and most affordable option... He said, "I'll think about it, buddy."!!! OMG!!! My mouth just dropped right then and there, and he has no idea that I heard this little convo between him and my son! For a man who has been so adamantly opposed to using a donor, this is a HUGE first step!!! I'm not going to push the subject any further or even bring it up to him, but it just made my heart so happy to finally hear that all his "NO's!" maybe aren't as set in stone as they used to be!!! I know this post is incredibly long and I've probably lost most of you by now lol, but I just couldn't contain my joy and wanted to share with you ladies that maybe little by little, each and every day, miracles DO happen... like the way a heart set in stone can slowly open up to new ideas and possibilities!! To EVERY woman out there struggling to be a mommy, whether again, or for the first time, I wish for tiny miracles to come your way more and more each passing day!
Baby dust to us all!!!
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