Here comes the monthly 'maybe I should give up' feelings!

Been doing this dance for slightly over two years now! And I thought it was all coming together! But once again here I am thinking maybe it's just not meant to be 😒 I have irregular cycles but got excited when my last two cycles were 25 days I thought this was the start of good things to come! CD35 bfn (11th October) I just thought I was in for a shot for sure! Had some (TMI) light brown thickish cm on the (5th October) along with cramps that made me think AF was coming! But here I am a week later here I am disappointed and waiting for AF to show! Today feels like she could be coming, cramping on and off tonight and I keep having to check because it feels well wet! What is that even about 😒 ugh I just needed to rant a little, I know next month I'll be back to bulk buying opks and hpts followed by giving the 'im giving up speech' to myself..... and glow 😂