Drugs & Depression !?

Question

Hello, my name is Maikemae (My-Key-May). Yeah i know a boring way to start my post but i just wanted to smack to you guys . For starters i am very overweight , (260) 5'6 . BIG and my skin is too dark. I'm 17 .I've never had a boyfriend or been sought out by anyone except for a quickie.

I've always had LOW self esteem and i've tried to kill myself over 5 times. My relationship with my mother is horrible (don't even wanna speak on my father) and i often times find myself depressed , and sad . Eating or sleeping.

I've officially given up on myself and am just waiting for the day that i perish. Lately i've began taking up drugs, though.

I have started buying and smoking marijuana, trying acid (LSD) , popping pills including Xans, Opiods, and a few i don't even know what i've taken. I've done esctasy and I've also been trying to get shrooms and other drugs but i'm worried these will soon lead me into more hard core things .

The drugs had become the only way for me to escape my sad depressing life .

Lately i've been running low on funds and can't seem to find work anywhere so i haven't been able to buy the drugs like i want and need and i've been falling right back into my depression. i've been trying to kill my self more lately and haven't been happy since the last time i did drugs.

i've been to a mental hospital once for suicide and found it pointless if i'm still in this depressing state and TBH i know i need the help but i find it another waste of time because all in all i just don't want to be on earth. Plus i can't seem to bring myself to tell anyone what i'm feeling or where i am . i just don't know what to do with myself anymore.

Answer

Can you see a counselor, try a treatment facility or go to support groups? I recommend at least two of them if not all.

I was an addict for 6 years and quit cold turkey which I don't recommend, but counseling and groups really helped me through the process.

Opioids and opiate abuse usually leads to heroin abuse because it is cheaper and easier to get than prescription drugs. So even though you don't want to get into hard stuff please be careful doing opiates/opioids.

Answer

Drugs make your depression way worse. It'll give you temporary relief but when you come down, you'll feel shitter. It messes with the dopamine/serotonin/etc and shit in your brain. You eventually start producing less and less and you'll need more drugs to  get to the same high as before. Can you see a therapist?

Answer

The thing that I've learnt about depression (having it for 10 years) is that medication doesn't always work and you should have behavioural therapy to try and rewire your brain into thinking positive rather than negative and don't tell me it doesn't work because that's the way I thought for years but if you keep open minded and actually participate in the therapy it works.

For the drugs part I don't know what that's like but you clearly have an addiction if you feel you need it and can't survive without it.

There are so many help lines and services out there and there are even ones that are free.

Don't be afraid to seek help because some things haven't worked for you in the past.

Good luck with everything and please stay safe.

Drugs & Depression !?

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