friends without babies - long!
am i crazy and selfish?
we have two friends, a couple, that we've been really close with, which is especially important in our situation (we all live far away from our homes and families, in a foreign country). they don't have kids, but are ttc.
so, my pregnancy was really difficult and by week 30 i could barely walk and even get dressed on my own, so i didn't see them too often. they complained occasionally anout that (comments like "you are just spoiled, it cannot be painful as you say" or "what, you feel sick again? isn't that supposed to be morning sickness?", "why did you take a taxi, you're just lazy, not in pain")
when i gave birth to my boy, i could tell they were hurt because i told them not to come to the hospital to visit (i had a c-section with general anesthesia, was severly engorged and developed mastitis, i spent my hospital days crying in pain, naked in bed, i really didn't feel like chatting). weeks after they would still mention how they bought me flowers but never got the chance to bring them to the hospital.
now my baby is 9 weeks old and i saw my friends twice. guess how many times i washed my hair since i gave birth!
so anyway, recently they got into some problems, which we couldn't help with (some legal issues), but we told them that they should let us know if they need anything. at the same time our baby got sick, congested, wouldn't eat or sleep for days, so we were focused od getting him well. a week passed by, and those friends of ours acused us of not being there for them, not calling them (they called my husband to go drinking the same night our baby was really sick and couldn't eat at all, so he declined), and told us how disapponited they are with us and our friendship, how we should've called them and helped them somehow.
now, my husband is really upset about this and feels like crap, wants to find excuses and apologize. but not me. oh no. i think they are being selfish; they don't get that we have a baby and that our priorities changed. i do not have the luxury of sleeping more than 5 hours, and every single free moment i use to take a shower, wash my hair, poop for crying outloud! like, everyday things that are supposed to be normal! i care about them but i really cannot spend my days trying to console them, when i have myself and my baby to take care of. and they have the nerve to tell us our friendship is over! well, i just can't and won't care about that. they are grown ups (in their 40s), they can handle their problems without us patting their backs and calling them every day to see whether they are feeling better.
am i crazy for feeling this way?
am i a lousy friend? or should they understand that i have a baby to think about 24/7?
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