Help. Ftm & (Single)

Some days I feel like all the coaching I tell myself and and all the reading and buying absolutely numerous quantities of every single item ever invented for baby and telling myself over and over I can do it is just isn't enough and i get so depressed that i just want to sleep and can't get out of it. baby is already 25weeks and it's becoming so real all of a sudden that it's overwhelming. I do want this baby more then anything and of course I'll love my child more then anything in the world but let's be real, becoming a parent is single handedly the most horrific thing in the world no matter how much money you may have or how big your home is or if they have a father.. I know this is the right time of me to have and raise a baby(my baby) I just don't know how to cope and get used to idea yet, and I feel I can never be to prepared or 100% ready for baby and how scary it all is is eating me away.