Screaming out crying

I am hysterical tonight... 
what did I do so wrong in my life to have such an awful marriage. 
I found a way to deal with the fact that I am not fertile... but if I can't have kids why can't I be blessed with a successful happy marriage?!? WHHHHHHY?!?! 😩 
God can take my ability to have kids, but damnit at least give me a happy marriage. That's all I ask.