How do you stay optimistic after being in an abusive marriage?!

I'm really upset today because people have been discussing Christmas and my family is broken anyway. I'll be 2 weeks away from my due date and most of my family live hours away so I said I won't risk traveling and will spend Christmas alone.

Last Christmas I spent it with my boyfriend who I married this year , ended up pregnant and then emotionally and somewhat psychically abused me so I flew to my home country.

I keep breaking down and crying uncontrollably then realize crying isn't going to make him care, I'm going to be a pathetic single mum with no income

What do I do ? :/