Long: Would you divorce your husband/wife if they gave you HIV?

Question

I'm sorry if this becomes a long post. I'm just so confused. I was a virgin before marriage and I thought my now husband was a virgin also. We both got tested early in our relationship just in case things led to sex before marriage. (We have been together for 4 years, married for 1 year.) We were both STD free. I've only had sex with him and my doctor told me I am HIV +. So either my husband wasn't a virgin or he cheated on me. Possibly even both. My question is would YOU get a divorce? Any advice would be helpful. If I need to update anything, I'll make a separate post because I want to keep myself anonymous. Thank you.

Answer

If I knew beyond a doubt that my husband was the one who gave it to me then yes, absolutely I'd divorce him. And if he know he's infected and didn't tell you then you may be able to even press criminal charges, it's against the law for him not to tell you if he knows.

I would explore every instance first though, do you have tattoos? Could you have been exposed to someone else's blood or bodily fluids? Is it at all possible you could've contracted any way besides sexual transmission? Definitely confront him if you believe it was sexually transmitted, his reaction would probably tell you all you need to know.

Answer

First get a second opinion. Second breathe and talk to him give him a chance to be honest. Third, do what you believe is best for you. This will effect the rest of your life.

Answer

In my mind it's not just the fact that you now have HIV it's that he went behind your back & had to of slept with someone else): sorry hun!!! I love my husband but if he ever cheated on me it's game over

Answer

If you have a gut feeling that he cheated, I'd divorce him. If he just didn't wanna tell you he wasn't a virgin it'd be a different story

Answer

I don't think I could ever trust someone who deceived me in such a horrendous manner, that's why I voted for divorce.

Answer

I didn't vote, because I am honestly not sure what I would do in that situation. It is a really difficult decision to make.

Answer

Have you asked him what the hell happened?!

Answer

It did depends. If he got it through a blood transfusion i wouldn't divorce him. But if he cheated then yes i would. I'm sorry for what you are going through. If you need someone to  talk to I'm here for you.

Answer

Retest and get him tested (husband or ex he needs to know his status). Then explore explanations. It's more likely that a man would get HIV from IV drug use or sex with another man (not impossible to get it from intercourse with a woman, but unusual especially in a circumsised man). You need to understand what your challenge is to decide if it's worth it  to fight for your marriage (sounds like this came out of the blue and you thought you were in a sting marriage).

Answer

I think you need to talk to him before deciding. And definitely get retested. My friend at work tested hiv positive after donating blood once and when she got the test done a second and third time to confirm, they were both negative. Mistakes happen in labs sometimes. I would want to make sure before making any life changing decisions

Long: Would you divorce your husband/wife if they gave you HIV?

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