Shitty birthday once again.

I dont even know why im doing this. Its late at night and i just finished crying. I had a shitty birthday. It always happens but this time i spent the night crying about my stupid boyfriend and my depression doesnt help and *sights* i really dont know what to do anymore i just want to feel. better be happy. Is it really that hard for it to happen.. oh god girls i dont know what to do anymore and i just need help but i cant get it..