Need help...

I just had my son on the 24th of this month... He was born at 25 weeks how do i deal with him being in the nicu...i feel so sad all the time i now he is doing better but i feel like i let him down like i couldn't keep him in there till it was time how do i deal with this feeling like i shouldnt get attached till he gets 100% better... I just wanna feel better..i wish my hubby was more understanding but i feel like all he does is judge.. Nd i now he hates having to help me i had an emergency csection nd i cant do anything everything hurts... Im so emotional nd i feel like i cant deal with all this. What can i do to feel better nd get more attached to my baby???