Did it work out?

Question

I am in my 30s, and feel like my time is running out to have kids. I would love at least one child. My boyfriend definitely doesn't want kids. I keep hoping that he will change his mind. I seriously don't want to be with anybody else, and I setiously doubt that I will find anybody else. Have you ever gone through a similar thing, and did it work out for you?

Answer

It'd be one thing to hope to change his mind if you guys were early 20s... pretty sure you're wasting your time if he's also over 30 & definitely doesn't want kids.

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I think by 30 years old if he doesn't want kids and you can't live without them you need to tell him you want kids or you need to move on.

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Going through it now. Thinking of leaving.

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My ex and I were together almost 5 years. He always said he wanted kids. At year 5 suddenly he said he was lying and only told me that because he knew I wanted them. We broke up a week later. It was a deal breaker. I was single for 3 years and then I met my now husband. We have 1 baby and another on the way. If it's something you really want don't waste your time with someone that definitely doesn't want them.

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I was with my ex boyfriend for 13 1/2 years, he didn't want kids, I really did. I broke up with him for unrelated reasons. I met my now husband 6 mid later when I was 39, married at 40, and just had our daughter at 41. 1st marriage and child for both of us. Don't settle because you think the future you want isn't possible, because it is, unless you're ok with not having kids with him.

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Hubby and I have been together 17 years. He knew I wanted children, but wasn't sure he'd ever be ready. I went through a period around age 28-29 where I was stuggling to come to terms with that, but ultimately decided I valued my relationship with him more than a potential child.

About a year ago, just before my 35th birthday, he said he was ready to start trying. Though I do worry sometimes that it's too late, I try to keep a mindset of being okay with whatever happens, and of being grateful for the adventurous times we've had together and the freedom we'll have if we don't end up ever having a baby.

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I'm sure you can find someone! If you think down the road you won't be happy not having children, I know it's easier said then done, but break it off. You deserve to be happy!

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I think hoping he will change his mind is probably setting yourself up for disappointment. I think you need to sit down and have a heart to heart with him.

I was actually looking into having my tubes tied when I met my now-SO. I was late 20's with 2 kids already. Didn't want anymore. He basically told me he 100% wanted kids and if I didn't we couldn't be together.

I spent the next 6 years trying to talk him out of it. Instead he talked me INTO it and now, 7 years in, I'm 5 weeks pregnant. However I was never absolutely against the idea. I just always hoped he would change his mind.  So it really depends how adamant he is about not wanting them.

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People rarely change. But the most important part here is: it's never too late to find a good match for yourself. I left my abusive ex at 28 and thought I would never have another shot, but i found a great guy and we are now expecting!  Don't settle.

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My girlfriend is 36, she just married my husband's best friend who is 34 a few months back. They thought they couldn't have kids (she has one from previous marriage, experienced 3 miscarriages with her ex, and our friend didn't really want any children and thought his swimmers weren't strong) but here we are now she's in her second trimester. He (obviously) changed his mind about having a baby and is more excited than ever! Scared as hell but happy he is going to have a little boy. I honestly think what changed his mind was my girlfriend sat him down and told him how important it was to her, explained just how much she wanted a baby with him, how much she loved him and wanted a family with him, and wanted her son (who is 6 now) to have a sibling. I think he realized it was what was going to make her happy and make their family whole. He would do anything for that girl. Don't give up hope.

Did it work out?

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