How would you feel if your MIL did this...should I be as upset as I am???

Question

I really want to only have my in laws, my grandparents,  and my mom know when I go into labor (no one else on my side due to family issues). Then my husband and I will make an announcement that baby is born when we get home with baby.
We would at the same time invite everyone to come see him or her on the Saturday following the birth (if it isn't less than 3 days). We won't announce gender until they show up for a sip and see. 
Then we won't have in and out guests all week or even at the hospital. We get one and done. Then we have time to ourselves to get to know our little one and get our son used to a baby in the house. 
I don't want anyone telling anyone that the baby is born or even that I am in labor until we want to announce it to them and invite them to the sip and see. So it would be about 3 days (which honestly is how long I spent in the hospital the first time) so I just want to be able to enjoy my baby in the hospital and not want to have to worry about messaging or calling everyone. And I also don't want other people announcing it because it is our thing.  
I told my MIL this and she says "well so-and-so, so-and-so, and so-and-so needs to know right away and I will be telling them". It was like she had no care in the world for what i wanted with my baby.. 
And I don't want that. I want to enjoy it and announce it myself This will be my last baby, and this is what I want. But she is being rude about it. 
Should I be so hurt by this?? 
18 weeks today due April 17th.

Answer

Make it known that if she doesn't feel she can respect your wishes. She does not have to be invited until the sip and see either 😉

Answer

This is your delivery you have every right to be mad I am the same way the only people allowed to come when I deliver at the hospital is my mother my father my sisters my children's god mother and my son . So when I deliver I write down who is allowed to be there and I tell them if anyone calls to see if I'm there for them to say no and if anyone not on my list comes they tell them I'm not in the hospital unless I call the hospital to authorize the visit by the person before they get there . The hospital listens if the hospital can respect your wishes and your mother in law can't I'd not invite her as well . That's disrespectful in my eyes it's not her child to be announcing .

Answer

You are the one having the baby, you get to call the shots. No one NEEDS to know anything until you are good and read to share with them. My husband and I were just discussing this and he is all concerned that his mother gets what she wants because this is her only grandchild. I was like excuse me?! This is our only CHILD. Stand up for what you want mama!!

Answer

So now your inlaws are on the list of people who won't know when your baby is born. Sucks for your FIL but he can blame his wife

Answer

I agree with all the ladies here. Simple for me. MIL just put herself out of the loop.

Answer

As I prepare for my third, my only advise to you is stop worrying about this little stuff..your trying to control word of mouth and it's impossible and your only going to work yourself up over something that is a mole hill. Your trying to be in control of too many things. As soon as your in laws find out what the baby is, when your in labor they will be so Flippin excited they are going to blab to everyone. It's human nature to not be able to hold in information like that because your so excited.

I am not saying this is not your right. It's your birth, your child but take it from a mama who's done it twice already, don't get worked up over controlling what cannot be controled. She's already told you that she's going to tell, she will anyway.

Answer

It's kind of odd and seems rude to try to limit who finds out you're in labor/you've had the baby. I'd just make it known you're not going to have visitors in the hospital (nurses can enforce this) and you will host everyone at your home for the sip n see the Saturday after the birth. That's totally reasonable to me.

Answer

Oh I feel you! Maybe letting the topic cool down a little and say it again later?

I have a similar problem. The wife of my father is overstepping her boundaries. Just because I will have a child and you are married to my father (who was absent in my life for 24 years, just 5 years ago met him), does not give you "mother-priviliges". I am sorry she had a miscarriage and could not have children of her own, but you can't hijack my birth experience or our newborn!" I have also tried to tell her boundaries, but she does not listen. My plan is to get the subject talking sometime closer and give her the ultimatum "You do not make demands. Our child, our rules. Accept or f#$@ off, I don't need you or him in my life."

Answer

I'm dealing with some of the same concerns. This is my second child, but first with my husband. There are things that I want done completely different this time around. Kind of like you, in that I want this to be an intimate time for me and my husband. We will have visitors in the hospital, but only once we call and tell everyone that we're comfortable with it. My MIL acted hurt at that fact, that she won't be allowed to wait in the waiting room, but things are done so much differently than they used to be. People are going to take things like this personally  (which I hate to upset certain people), but this is your moment. Everything is, and should be, up to you.

Answer

You have every right to be mad. I totally agree with you. She should respect your wishes. But i can totally relate,i had a cerclage which i wanted to keep private,however all tge neighbours and half of the community knows. I resent her so much!if she is nit agreeing with you,she will see baby when you feel is best. It is your baby,yor moment. Mil should learn to take a seat!

How would you feel if your MIL did this...should I be as upset as I am???

Let’s Glow

Glow is here for you on your path to pregnancy

25+ million

4.8 stars

20+

Getting Pregnant

Pregnancy

1st Year (Baby & You)

Baby Products