Need support 😞💔

Today I found out my husband was cheating on me emotionally. He was showing me something on his phone, when a text free notification popped up. Which is strange because his phone has service. I asked him about it and he said it was some guy named Steven, so I asked to see it. He went in the other room for a minute and came back and said see it's Steven, and showed me the screen but refused to open the messages. Well knowing Text Free syncs contacts with iPhone, I did something kind of psycho when he wouldn't tell me the number or show me the messages and accessed it through his iCloud by looking it up online. I called the number and a woman answered, I asked who is this and she said Stephanie. I asked if she knew Paul and she said no. Well I texted her and explained that he was texting her number off text free and it wouldn't be totally crazy to believe he might have faked his name. So I sent her a pic of him and she sent back a pic she received and she said "wait a minute, Chris (his fake name)? We've been talking for a couple months, he wanted to meet but I couldn't get a babysitter." So we kept talking and she told me all about how they'd been texting and wants to see each other and he never said anything sexual but he wanted to go on a date with her. She told me that she met him on a dating website called Plenty of Fish, which he denied until Stephanie proved it. He's still lying. A couple weeks ago I remember him saying he might go see his friend Steven and then the plans didn't work out. I'm a plus size woman, and this girl Stephanie (facebooked her number) was very thin, but she looked like she was on drugs and wasn't very attractive otherwise. She had 3 kids, which broke my heart because I know he wants kids and we've been trying for so long and I haven't been able to carry a child to term. He proceeded to tell me it's my fault because I talk to my ex (a guy that I've known literally since we were born, and a family friend, that I dated for exactly one month before we mutually decided we made better friends years and years ago.) and the only time I ever met up with my ex was at a family-friend gathering while I was with my husband. He said it was my fault because I yell at him to pick up trash off the floor and not throw pizza crusts on the floor for me to clean up or leave trash everywhere. He said it wasn't really cheating because he never actually met her and it was just talking and how dare I get upset about that. I'm so hurt and lost and honestly I don't know what to do 😞 I need support/advice/hugs. I've been physically cheated on by my other ex before but this emotional cheating, by my husband, it just feels like a huge blow. On top of that he's been talking about his new friend Steven for awhile now, and how he wants to hang out with Steven and talks about funny things "Steven" said. The nerve of it is what kills me. I feel like I'm not good enough because I gained some weight since we met. Like maybe if I wasn't plus sized he wouldn't have done any of this.