Two Years ago to this day,

I packed most of my belongings and so did he. We stuffed his little car as much as we could, with just enough wiggle room for us to get to Willow (our daughter). We had a plan, dreams, motivation, an opportunity for a fresh start at becoming a family and completely moving forward with our future.

The plan was originally for him to begin his educational career into becoming a mechanic, because that was his dream. His parents helped make that happen. As time went on, our first year in Avondale was cut short. Things happen, we came to some "bumps in the road" as they call it and because our financial situation wasn't good, the only realistic decision we could make was for Willow and I to move home. Live with my Mom, go to school, work, put baby in daycare and give him a chance to focus on his future. Finish school. Focus on the original plan. The whole reason why we moved to Phoenix. He was becoming very distracted...

It was probably the biggest mistake I've ever made in my life. Moving back home. Leaving him behind. But there has been so much opportunity brought into our lives: I got a very good paying job, I was able to put Willow in daycare full time, I was able to go to school (still am) and it has been developmentally a success for Willow.

It's hard having to make decisions that you know will bring torture into a very sacred relationship with your SO, but I had to. We were going to be homeless. I couldn't take care of all of the bills on my 40+hour work weeks. It wasn't enough. I tried so hard, but when you're a Full-Time Mom Working 6pm-2:30am, to be woken up at 7/8am and be Mom all day until work that evening and even working 20 hours of the 24 hours in a given day to be MOM, it's f**king exhausting!

I've been blamed. I'm getting blamed, for this "mess" that I'm in. The reason things are the way they are now. It's "my fault". Even though I did everything in my power to stay. To take care of him. Of Willow. Of myself. But I had to do what was best for HER. This is me being SELFLESS.

Judge me all you want. Hate me all you want. But I will tell you right now that being abandoned is the WORST feeling in the world. I didn't think I knew what it was to be completely abandoned, until he went and abandoned us. Distance is hard, I won't lie. It has definitely torn us apart, but don't just assume that because you made a "sacred oath" to each other, a promise, "Under God", doesn't mean that it will stay the way it was in the beginning.

I am trying to keep my head up for HER sake, because if I'm not okay, she won't be.

Should I feel guilty at ALL? Am I to blame for our marriage ending up the way it has?

how does stress effect your period?

Let’s Glow

Glow is here for you on your path to pregnancy

25+ million

4.8 stars

20+

Getting Pregnant

Pregnancy

1st Year (Baby & You)

Baby Products