I finally reached this important step💕 (also I'm sorry for the VERY LONG read. I just needed to get it all out)

Of my body appeared weird to me. I'm 18 rn and I want to say since about 14/15 I was exposed to body positivity on tumblr and even tho I read about it and tried it out ... I still didn't fully love myself. I would go through being confident for an hour and then see some "perfect" body on Instagram/twitter/tumblr that my confidence would go out the window lol. It really is a struggle to love ur body esp if u go on and compare yourself and all. I never HATED my body but I could never really accept it. Even when I did sort of... it was the fake it until u make it attitude. Along with the reliance on compliments esp from boys which we all know is the best thing to rely on when building confidence (NOT!!) Anywho fast foward two/three weeks ago I was on this girls Instagram page who i followed due the fact that she was about body positivity and how most of her posts are about her body and encouraging words of self love. She was a beautiful, brown, and a girl my age. Slaying with makeup and everything. I saw myself in her. Even tho she def. is more Curvy than I am she showed me what self Love was. She rocked her tight dresses/bodysuits and I love it! And she had a tummy too! She posted a pic a couple of weeks ago explaing her gaining some weight and loving it and loving her tummy. That post MADE MY DAY! I was feeling so down about my body that week. Just constantly looking at these girls whose body was the definition of "perfect" if u asked anyone. But this girls post flipped a switch in my brain! All of sudden I was reading MORE body positivity stuff on tumblr or on Instagram. I started looking at myself naked in the mirror and loving what I saw!!! A couple of days ago I was on twitter and saw this girl with her  "perfect" body. And I'm not gonna lie I saw the comments , I kept looking at her pics thinking wow...I could be like that if ....or wow kinda wish I had that body... so I did feel down but then following that I went to go take a shower and as I was taking off my clothes I looked in the mirror and thought "WTF IM HOT AF WHY AM I SAD LOLOL" i swear to you MY thought process THERE in that moment was the biggest indicator that something had changed. the fact that I wasn't critiquing my body or picking at my body shape, that my confidence was still there even AFTER i experienced seeing the girls body on twitter.  Something that has never happened before.

Anywho today I took some pics of me today in the manner that I never would ever post thinking I have fat on my hips and tummy. I'm so confident in them I love it! I've taken pics in lingerie before but even then I was in such an uncomfortable position to make myself look good that I've finally made it to where I can take a pic of Myself in a natural state. Not worrying about posing to make myself into something I am not. But in stead I am in a state of just being me. I'm just so happy. I haven't felt guilty about eating something I love nor felt the need to criticize my body. I know self love is a journey and I know I really just hit the tip of the ice-berg but just being her at this point really just makes me Happy. My end goal is just to be comfortable in my skin and not care about anything or anyone. I want to love myself to the point that no images or words will deter me from loving my body. Sorry for the length but yeah I just needed to share this with anyone/everyone on here esp. since I don't really have gal pals all too much anymore(: . I will reiterate since I don't want people taking the wrong idea. this is about the journey of self love! We all have different ones. In this case i am def. aware there are girls whose self love is looked down upon and that truly saddens me. And I just hope one day it isn't and that all our self love journeys are looked at with equal importance. this is my story so thank you💕