Can't decide on whether I want just my partner in the birth with me! help!?

Question

Okay so this will be our first baby I am 23 my partner has just turned 31 and both of us are expecting our first child I never grew up having a mum in my life so my mum won't be there and my dad doesn't want to either as it's not his thing lol. But my partners mum wants to be in the birth with us both she keeps dropping hints and I'm not sure if I want her in there I feel like it should just be me and my partner that should experience it together but feel bad as it is her eldest sons first baby.. don't get me wrong she is lovely but still I feel like I'd be more comfortable with just us 2 🙈
Who will be with you when you give birth and reasons as of why ?

Answer

Don't forget that this is a medical procedure! You have to be 100% comfortable with who is in the room and make sure you're doing what's right for you and your baby. Nobody has a right to be there unless you want them to be - that includes MILs!

Answer

Just my husband. My in-laws stress me out and last time my parents were in there I was trying to comfort THEM through my contractions cause I'm their only child and they hated seeing me in pain. For my dad it just brought flashbacks to when my mom birthed me and they almost lost us.
I let family and close friends visit before hard labor sets in but when it's time to get pushing it's just me and him. After birth I keep everyone out for a little bit so we can have a few precious first few minutes with baby before I have to share lol. As one nurse told me years ago, it's my party and I can do what I want. If someone tried pushing their way in by guilting me the nurses are there to enforce my wishes if I need it. Though my husband is great at enforcing my wishes when it comes to his family lol.

Answer

I love my inlaws to death but won't be having them there because 
A) I want that intimate time with just my husband and know he calms my best 
B) I'm giving birth out of my VAGINA... I do not want my mother in law to see or hear that.

Moms are one thing, but mother in laws... nope! I think it's completely reasonable to just have you two :) They can always hang in the waiting room until you delivered and are ready for company

Answer

My mother and husband were with me for my first.  This time it'll only be my husband as my parents and I no longer speak. (Turns out, they don't really want to be grandparents.)

Answer

Honestly unless it's a teen pregnancy situation, I think only the babies parents should be in the room. Everyone else can visit during a set time you start excepting visitors if you choose.

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My situation is very similar to yours. My partner is 31, I am 21... he is the oldest son, his first baby and mine too. My mom is present but I been 100% honest to her about only wanting him in the room and she understands and respects my decision. His mom on the other hand keeps throwing hits about it but I have talked to my SO that it will only be me and him in the room. They can come and see the baby afterwards, when I am clean and feel ready for visits. We don't want to break my in laws heart so we made a plan where we won't tell her whenever i go into labor. We would tell her after baby is born... is the best thing we could come up with in order to keep our moment private.

Answer

There's no way I'd let anyone else in the room. I wouldn't even be comfortable with my mom. Luckily she doesn't want to be in there for that part. It's only me and my partner.

Answer

Do whatever makes you comfortable! If you aren't okay with the idea of her being there, that's okay! Do NOT feel guilty about that. Having a baby is one of the freaking hardest things you'll ever do, so make it as easy on yourself as possible. With my first, I had my mom and husband. (My sister was actually there too, and she was a great helper for my mom but I have no recollection of her there at all 😂 pretty sure i scarred her for life.) My husband was there because of course I wanted him there and he wanted to be there. And my mom acted as my doula. This time around I'm doing the same, minus traumatizing my poor sister 😂

Answer

I would recommend it be just you and your partner. Before my first baby I had a close friend that was an emotional wreck when her first was born and was glad she had the time to rest and compose herself before having visitors. So I did the same. Partially because I tend to be a little private naturally but also because I planned on a natural birth and wanted space to labor without people hovering around silently pressuring me so they could hold MY son. We told no one when we went to the hospital. Actually that isn't true, I called my Mom when my water broke but they live 8.5hours away so they couldn't be there even if I asked.
If you even have a little inclination that you want it to be you and your parter only then I would go with that. She has plenty of time to see the baby later on YOUR terms. And if you make that choice make it clear to her and stay firm! She has no right to guilt you into letting her into the room. Yes, it's her grand baby but there are still boundaries and limits. Can you tell I feel strongly about this?! Lol

Answer

I had my mom and daughters dad at my first birth, and only my husband at my second daughters birth. Baby number 3 is coming soon and it will only be my husband again. It was so much less stressful for me

Can't decide on whether I want just my partner in the birth with me! help!?

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