Can you love someone and still wish they broke up with you

I love my boyfriend so much. But I wish so hardly that he breaks up with me. I am not happy in this relationship. There is alot of things that he has done and said before.. some things quite a long time..that still linger in my head. I feel like an option to him..though he says he loves me very much. My head is in chaos. He thinks that all is well but I cry almost every day..my head hurts all the time. I am too tired. But I can't break up with him cause I really don't know how to do it. It will crash him since he thinks we are good. He has threatened to leave thrice before. I just don't know what to do.