Am I overreacting?

Question

Both my husband and I work. So we set up a bathing schedule. We came to the agreement that one day I shower them and he will the next day and so on. It was all going really well up until we found out we're pregnant.  I've been having back problems this pregnancy so now I'm getting Wednesdays off at work. I love my job and they are so flexible with me even more now that I'm pregnant.  So now that I have that day off my husband has been expecting me to bathe the kids even though it lands on his turn. At first I did because I thought he's going to be tired and I have the day off so why not.  He's always been a gym guy so he goes to the gym and will skip his turn every time that he can now(he didn't before). I end up bathing the kids.  I brought it up to him today because he got home expecting the kids to be showered. He was like you didn't shower them? I told him no, because it was his turn and he has been skipping alot lately. He got upset and went on and on about how he's busting his ass at work and I had the day off and couldn't bathe the kids😒😠. I told him that wasn't the point , the point was that we came to an agreement and he's not keeping up with it. But when I ask him if he can take my turn he never will so it's not fair. He doesn't freaking understand why I'm upset. He left to the gym and I'm not bathing the kids. I know that will piss him off more but I can be petty too. Am I being dramatic or over reacting? I know my pregnancy hormones are so wacky right now but I didn't think it was fair.

Answer

I also do not think it is fair, but it is not him you're hurting. Your children learn their bathing habits from YOU. If you don't make them bathe everyday, they won't think they have to.

Answer

What's crazy to me is why would you even have to make an agreement on that? Your pregnant and he can't take over that responsibility during that time to help you out? I'm sure there are other things that you can do to offset the workload in the house so he's not overwhelmed either but what kind of father has to make a deal with his wife on when he will bath his kids? And if he has time for the gym he should be more than willing to spare a little time to bath his children. It's not like you are asking him to jump rope on the moon for your entertainment dAily. Screw that girl I think couples should work together to make it all run smoothly and sometimes that means comprising that's part of marriage. Did he not know that? Lol

Answer

You are being neither. Y'all had an agreement regardless of anything. Its not like you have the day off cause you don't want to work, you are pregnant! He should want to help, not make you feel bad about it.

Answer

He just got home from the gym. First thing he did was give me a kiss. Then he asked why I showered the kids. I told him because he left  and it was getting late. He was planning on bathing them when he got back. He apologized saying he had a rough day at work. He's supervisor and has lots of responsibility.  Told him it still doesn't justify it and he shouldn't be taking it out on me. Said it wouldn't happen again. We will see. Thank you ladies.

Answer

I understand he should have steppes up and bathed them before he went to the gym but your kids still need a bath whether you do it or he does....Not bathing them is only punishing them. Not your husband.

Answer

It seems like you guys simply need an update on the schedule. He clearly thought he status quo with the bathing schedule changed with you getting those days off now; you didn't. Misunderstanding! But the key is to adapt. For example my hubs and I re-budget a bit almost every single month, as needed, as our situation changes. You've both got to be flexible. Sit down together and examine the schedule again. And ultimately ask yourselves this: are you standing more on principle or on loving your spouse? When you refuse to bathe them on a day you have a lot of time because "it's his turn" even when you know he's going to be at work all day and be tired when he gets home, and you could just as well do it, that isn't loving to him. Likewise, when he assumes you should always do it because you have time off, and expects you not to take the time to rest when you need it even with a complicated pregnancy, that's not loving to you. You both have to sacrifice and love on each other. I think you both need to give up some ground here, talk, make up, and be flexible with each other.

Answer

Young ones actually don't need a bath everyday. It can dry out their skin too much. Every other day is usually enough, unless they get super dirty on the "off" day.

But he definitely needs to be stepping up and doing his share. There's going to be another baby to consider and you will need his help. The gym should never come over his children.

Answer

You guys are fighting over bathing your children I think there's bigger issues here

Answer

This is idiotic. Your children need to be clean more than you need to be right. YOU be a good parent. You can't force him to be. But your children should be able to count on someone.

Am I overreacting?

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