how to tell my parents?

Question

So I'm really close with my parents but I have really different views about a lot of things than them. So I've started seeing a new guy and I like him A LOT. So far he's been a perfect gentleman and we just click. But I'm stressed about telling my parents for one reason. He's half black. And to most people that isn't an issue but it's a huge issue to my very conservative parents. They don't believe in mixing. It took my parents almost a year to accept my sisters relationship when she dated a Mexican guy. So if it really does get serious I'll open this all up but I just never want to make him feel uncomfortable being with me. This is so stupid. My parents should just be happy that I'm happy. Should I just rip off the bandaid or does anyone have suggestions? I've never had to deal with this before and I'm mostly just concerned about his feelings. Thanks ladies!!

Answer

My boyfriend of 6 years is black,  it took my parents 3 years to adjust to him.  They didn't really like him... They believed all the stereotypes.  After a while,  they adjusted my dad loves him & calls him "son". All my family loves him.  Good luck,  hope everything goes good,  it does take time for parents to adjust so be patient.

Answer

Maybe ask ur sister how she told ur parents about her SO

Answer

If your parents love you, they will love whoever you love. I say this from experience. I'm the first in my family to date outside of my race. It's not frowned upon or anything like that. It's just never happened before. When I told my mom about him, I didn't even make it about the color of his skin because to me it didn't matter. I told her all of the things that did matter to me. The color of his skin doesn't define who he is. She wasn't totally surprised but she wasn't expecting it either. She just made mention of it when I showed her a picture of him and that was that. We're now married going on 2 years with a 1 year old and my parents love him like he's their own. My suggestion is.......don't make such a big deal out of it. If they can't look at him without just seeing color, that's on them. And if they choose not to accept him because of it, that's their loss. Because depending on how serious the relationship is between you two, they will be losing you in a way as well. Just don't make it the main thing.

Answer

Tell them but don't mention color yet. Let them know how he treats you and talk about how he is a gentleman towards you then race shouldn't be a big issue as long as they know their daughter is being treated right. I'm mixed myself and my bf is too so I know how that is. The main thing with parents is they worry too much about your well being, they want you taken care of the right way and treated how you deserve. They want what's best for you but sometimes don't realize that you have to choose for yourself but just tell them and don't focus on race, focus on his character then color won't matter. Good luck I hope it works out

Answer

Well the good thing is that they accepted your sisters relationship. Which means they'll eventually accept yours too. They have to, it's your choice your life. I wouldn't even bring up his race. Not something a person should have to do.

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Your parents are racist morons if they think him being mixed race is of any importance. You are better of without them if they can't see the light

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Yeah, if i was him, i wouldnt have any interest dealing with that nonsense and just find someone who i can be comfortable around.

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You're most likely not going to be able to change their opinions on the matter completely, and if you stay together there's always a chance they might not totally accept it. So it becomes a matter of what's more important to you, your relationship or their approval?

Answer

I would not tell them until it's serious. If it ends up not working out, you upset your parents for no reason. I do agree that it shouldn't matter if your happy, but that being said if you know they won't react well just make sure the relationship will last through their upset. Good luck.

Answer

My sister dates other race men. At first my parents weren't fans of it, but they eventually got over it and said as long as the dude treats her right and she is happy they don't care.

how to tell my parents?

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