please just don't

Please don't tell me you wish you were me...... okay so I'm so afraid my boyfriend is going to leave me if I keep losing weight. In two years I went from a size 5 to a double zero. I can't stop. I really want to gain weight and idk how. I do not eat healthy, I drink a lot of soda, I just wanna be about 15/25 pounds heavier. It's so hard finding clothes that fit, sex hurts, my self image hasn't gotten any better. I just don't know what to do.