Why do i hate being a mum so much?

Question

Honestly i miss my old life back soo much it makes me cry everyday. I hate feeling this way about an innocent baby and wish she went to a loving home who would love being up all night, no sleep. I have no support what so ever, no family that live here, my partner trys to help but gets easily frustrated at her and i have to step in. She has colic and all she does is scream. I dont know what to do... this is just too much work and not enough sleeo. Shes only 3 weeks old and i cant imagine going through years of this until she is independant. I just cant do this :'( i can hear her waking up from her 10minute sleep that will keep her awake for atleast 2-3hours. I couldnt get rid of her or run away the guilt would eat me alive. I definitely do not want any more children. And no before yous ask i would not harm her. All i do is cry because she needs me 24/7. I dont know how all yous mums do this and love every minute. I cant wait until she is 3 years old and is more independant. I have just turnt 20 and feel like my life is over... even before i fell pregnant i never wanted kids until atleast 30+ because i wanted to live a little. Now i just see my life constantly at home too exhausted to do anything. I dont see a way out except time and years. I just feel so sad for feeling this way but there is no denying it... thats exactly how i feel. I hate being a mum. When do they start sleeping for atleast 2hours at a time. I cant do this... i need help. My relationship is falling apart because i am just too exhausted to even bother with him we are constantly fighting. My life is falling apart. I miss my old life and there is no going back ever. I wont be completely independant again she will always need me. But i do look at her with love and while i was pregnant i was so in love and pictured my life differently when she would be born but it is nothing like that... we are anything but happy. She wont sleep and is constantly screaming, wont let me put her down. Im suprised i can even write this. How do i learn to love this life?

Answer

I often feel the same exact way. I'm sorry you're going through this. I promise I believe you and understand how difficult a colicky baby can be. The things that helped us at that age were probiotic drops, bouncing on an exercise ball, white noise machine, and baby wearing in a wrap. It gets better when they start smiling at you, which for us was around 6 weeks. I'm not gonna lie and say that his colic got better then, but at least I started feeling like I was getting back some of the love and energy that I was putting in. Hang in there!

Answer

It is normal to feel this way. I felt like this at the beginning and my baby was planned. Our lives changed completely in just a few minutes when they were born, and there was no amount of warning and stories that could've prepared me for the first couple of months. It will get easier, quicker than you think too. Hang in there, you're not alone.

Answer

The first six weeks are the hardest with any baby. A baby with colic will probably outgrow it by/at 3 months. Believe me when I say it does get better. You hang in there and seek support, wherever it may be.

Answer

You don't hate it. You're overwhelmed. Trust me, I'm like that too but at the end of the day I would do anything to see my baby girl smile.

Answer

It'll only get better honey I'm 18 and just she is 6 weeks old I always knew I wanted children but I was told i couldn't have any, I didn't expect to fall pregnant tho, but I am not always love with it... really sometimes I don't want to do it, I really don't sometimes I just wish I could walk away but like you I love her and I can't do that, I just feel it'll only get easier and when I look at her face I just get lost with love

Answer

So the first thing you need to know is that these first few months are really difficult. Really really really difficult. And it's totally OK to acknowledge any negative feelings you're having right now. This is actually all pretty normal. Your hormones are all out of whack, you're getting no sleep, there is little time to care for yourself, and with no support, this time can be incredibly difficult. You are literally transforming from the person you wants were, into the person and mother that you will be. That's not an easy transformation. What I recommend that you do is start seeing a therapist, or at least tell your OB how you've been feeling. As far as your hormones go, you should start feeling a little bit better from any bouts of the baby blues within a month after having your baby. If you still feel the way you are feeling after that time period, you could be experiencing PPD. You already have a colicky baby and with postpartum depression on top of that, you may feel really horrible. So if you think you might have PPD, make sure you let your doctor know. Remember that this is only temporary, not everyone enjoys this phase of childhood.  You will be able to get full nights of sleep eventually. Being a parent to a toddler has its own set of challenges. The difference is, your hormones have gone back to normal, you are getting more sleep, you're able to care for yourself a little bit easier, and your child communicates with you better… When that happens, you're going to feel so much better. And it doesn't take forever. My daughter started sleeping six-hour clips at a time by three months old. By a-year-old, she was sleeping 11 hour nights! So just hang in there mama… You are doing great. It may seem like you hate this now, but it gets better and in no time you'll realize that this is all worth it. And when the time comes, hire yourself a really good babysitter! Breaks are essential to your self-care routine.

Answer

I felt the exact same way you did when my daughter was a newborn. I was only 20 when I had her too. It seems so hard and hopeless right now but I promise it does get better. I think you might be suffering from post partum depression as well. I did too and I found that talking to a therapist and getting on anti depressant medication helped me so much. Hang in there momma. xx

Answer

You could try taking her to a chiropractor for her colic. It helped my son start sleeping through the night. Your little baby might be just as exhausted as you are making things even harder. But I'll be honest I had plenty of cry sessions with my new baby. We would just snuggle and cry together. Mainly because I was exhausted and had no idea what I was doing. You are a good mom for loving her and doing your best. My son gained more independence around 9 months because I encouraged that.

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I promise it gets easier . As long as you don't want to cause any harm to her or yourself then what you're feeling is totally normal ... Many many many other moms feel the same way you do , you're not alone !

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It's completely normal to feel this way, I also felt very overwhelmed at first but my baby is now 3 and a half months and it gets easier I promise! Just hang in there. I've had to deal with colic and gas and it's slowly starting to go away she barely cries at all! It just takes a whole lot of patience but I promise you it gets better. I felt very tired and overwhelmed, my husband couldn't help me either because he works a lot and isn't as good with the baby as I am. You'll get your rest. It's all a part of being a new parent. Iused to cry and feel the exact same way but now I enjoy it more and more and I actually miss her being a newborn when I look back.

Why do i hate being a mum so much?

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