who just effs up this bad??

My husband and I had been having problems over the summer. I thought we were going to divorce. Things got better, or so I thought. Over th course of about 2 months he threatened to divorce me 3 times. Once he even started packing my things...like he was going to kick me out and keep my kids. Anyway, on the third time he threatened a divorce I was so done...I was exhausted in every way a person could be. I left home for 2 days. During this time I confided in a friend who has always been someone I could count on....well, we ended up having unprotected sex. Yes, I know I'm a shitty person, I know so there's no need to comment because it's already a well known fact. Anyway, after I went home I completely broke down. I told my husband all the ways he's made me feel recently and that I was done. I told him everything except that I had had sex with someone else. Well, he apologized, we decided to try one last time. I told him if he didn't want to divorce that he should never threatened me again because I would give it to him the next time. No more games. He agreed and things have been good since. Onward to now, just got a BFP and based on my last period...IDK who the father is. I feel like complete shit. I AM COMPLETE SHIT. I hate myself.