AF Due 1/8.......anyone else?

I am due for af on 1/8.  I'm anxious this cycle.  Really want to get a BFP, scared as all get out to get a BFP.  Would be disappointed with a bfn but need to prepare myself for a bfn.  Up down happy nervous.  Sometimes I rub my my belly and wonder if there is a little bean in there.  One more week to go.  I want to wait as long as I can to test so it's more accurate.  Ahhhhhhhhh!  When will it be my turn?!?  After two miscarriages and ttc for over a year I just feel so frustrated!