THE REALITY OF MOTHERHOOD: A FTM guide

1. You do not have to be super mom. Do not put so much pressure on yourself to be a "perfect" mom. There is no such thing. As long as you are supplying your baby their needs to the best of your ablility and trying your hardest then you are doing an awesome job. Don't try to live up to any other standard of what other moms are doing or drive yourself crazy trying to be perfect. You're going to mess up, you're gonna get it wrong sometimes, you are human. Parenting is trial and error and believe me everyone does a whole lot of error at first. Don't blame yourself for everything, if your baby is fussy it doesn't always mean it's your fault or you're doing something wrong. Crying for no reason is a thing all you can do is keep comforting and loving on them when that happens. 

2. Just as you are not perfect, neither is your baby. They are human as well. Not everyday with them is going to be sunshine and rainbows. They're gonna cry and sometimes for no reason. They have bad days too and sometimes they're just fussy. They are learning you as well and everything is new to them. 

3. It is okay to not love every second of motherhood. I thought if I didn't love every part of being a mom I was a bad mom but reality is that's not true. I love my baby more then anything and I wouldn't trade this gift for anything but does that mean I need love when she crys for hours on end for no reason? Do I need to love when she poops all over me while getting her out of the bath? Do I need to love when she will not let me put her down without screaming? No. This parenting thing is hard and it's okay to get frustrated and feel upset about certain things and not like certain things, doesn't mean you love your baby any less or don't cherish every moment with her, NO ONE likes the hard part of parenting even if they say they do but we do it out of love and would do it all over again. 

4. EVERYTHING GOES. Before becoming a mom I was dead set on things I would do and things I wouldn't do. I thought no one could change my mind, except for my baby that is.. example: I was completely against having her sleep in bed with us. Absolutely not. Will not do it. She had other plans. When you are sleep deprived and have listened to your baby cry for hours and the only thing that will help is putting her in bed with you so you both can get some sleep, then you put her in bed with you. Some nights that's just what we have to do, others she's great in her crib. But do not rule anything out, try everything, anything that works and is safe for your baby and makes them happy makes mommy happy. Be open minded. Like before, your baby is a human and will have their own wants and preferences. You have to figure out what works for you guys and that can be anything, be willing to try it all. Every baby is different. 

5. Accept the help. Help is good. The first 3 weeks of her life I would not allow anyone to help me, not trying to be rude, but I just felt I was her mom, it was my responsibility to take care of her and I shouldn't make someone else do it and I shouldn't be lazy and if I couldn't do it then no one could. That is until I was sleep deprived and going crazy. (And yes you will lose A LOT of sleep and your sleeping schedule will be all over the place and that is normal. You are now on babies time. Try to sleep when baby sleeps) It is okay to let someone watch the baby while you get some sleep, it is okay to let others hold the baby and give your arms a break, it is okay to ask for help. If you are not taking care of yourself then you can't take care of your baby. You still matter, you still need mommy time to eat, sleep, and shower. Your support system understands and wants to help, let them. You are not being a lazy mom and people want to help. Some days my baby will not stop crying until I give her to "Gigi", sometimes it takes other people and that doesn't mean your baby doesn't like you they just need something different sometimes. It really does take a village to raise a child. 

These were my experiences and what I've learned to be most important I hope this helped any FTM or any mom in general. If anyone else has any helpful tips or advice feel free to comment below, I would love to hear them. 😊