TMI OMG I'm miserable

Haven't pooped in forever 9 days! I finally took one stool softener and now I feel like it's STUCK IN MY THROAT! 😓 I want to throw up but can't! I want to shit but nothing's coming out! Like wtf! I'm so stuffed with food it's ridiculous! 🤔😞 I really want to make myself throw up at this point!😷