slightly hormonal rant
Dear well-intentioned persons:
I know that you care for me and mean Well; however, as you do not have children, I would prefer that you let me decide what is best for my child. Helping to raise a godchild, younger siblings, years of babysitting, or advanced degrees does not make you an expert in child-rearing. It just means that your limited perspective is wider than people who are not parents and have not done these things.
Until you have your own, none of these things are the same as being an actual mother who has had a vaginal birth, c-section, embryo adoption, or conventional adoption. I know because I babysat, and half-raised kids in my town and my siblings. Motherhood is drastically diffeeent.
Being a mother uniquely qualifies me to make decisions on how I want to raise my child. When I share with you how hope to raise my child, i am not soliciting feedback. There is nothing to argue with. I do not want your affirmations. I am sharing my hopes with you. If you don't like my hopes, keep it to yourself. As women you should know this: if we have a bad day we don't want someone to fix it, we want someone to listen and maybe pop over with some Ben and Jerry's. A pint of Caramel Sutra or Phish Food might be nice. Don't be a man and try to fix what ain't broken.
I realize that I might adjust my hopes and expectations, but that is MY business. I do not require your feedback on that either.
Speaking with you has taught me an important lesson. I won't be speaking with most of my non-parent friends about these things because they just won't get it. Thank you for helping me to set boundaries in our friendship. I still love you.