life after abortion

When I was 17 I got pregnant by a much older guy I didn't really know. I was so scared but already loved the baby more than anything and had no idea what to do. I ended up telling my grandmother (who I lived with) and she kicked me out. I had no where to go, no family and no friends. I ended up finding some woman on Craigslist who would take me in. I did everything I could as a teenager with no money, no car, no job, that I could to keep the baby. When I was around 11 weeks the woman I was living with kicked me out as well. I had no option but to go back to my grandmothers. The only way she would let me live with her again is if I had an abortion. I knew I could be an amazing mother if given the opportunity and was desperate to keep the baby so I slept outside her house for days and tried to find somewhere else to live. I couldn't find anywhere else and hadn't eaten in days and was so tired and so defeated that I agreed to get an abortion. When I was 12 weeks pregnant, I went through the hardest thing in my life and had an abortion I didn't want to have. I was wrecked. I felt so guilty. I felt like I could have fought harder and longer for that baby. I was depressed for years about it.  I had major depression, suicidal thoughts, and lived in silence and pain for years. That is until I met my husband. He pulled me out of the darkest time in my life. I worked through my depression and guilt and realized that it was not my fault. I tried my hardest, and maybe it just wasn't meant to be. Here I am 6 years later and we are expecting a baby girl in one week. My life is amazing now. That dark time in my life is far behind me. I think about that little baby every day that i didn't get a chance to meet, but I have no idea how my life would have ended up if I had kept the baby. Life has a way of working things out. If you are choosing abortion, make sure it's the right choice for you and just know that one day things will make sense. One day the time will be right.